It's silent here. I can almost feel the floors breathing in and out the silence that is left when I step through the door. I can almost feel every piece of furniture reach out trying to touch the living. It's almost eerie and I was hoping I would never have to feel it again. The last time the feeling of darkness and the chill of absence traveled my arms was when I was five and utterly alone on the orphanage steps. No. That's not true, I've lived carrying this feeling around because I've discovered that it can come even when I am surrounded by all the students at Ouranmond High School. I guess this is the first time that I've realised it was gone all these years... when it reappears. Now that I really think about it, the last time I truly felt loneliness was before Amelia. I had moved around a lot as a kid, and even though I truly loved my parents, there is something about being different from everyone and teased for looking different from your parents that can really bother you. In all the places I had lived I was the only Asian, and no one really knew what to do with that. I was an American trapped in an Asian body and no one, not even myself knew how to deal with it. When I moved to California it was no different, I ate lunch alone and tried to pretend that I was just like everyone else, that my best friend was a blond girl named Tiffany and that her and some girl named Brittney hated each other. That Tiff and I would talk for hours on end about Brittney. But that didn't happen, I would always still be the same Asian that everyone asked for homework from before Trig. I was invisible and the funny thing was, Amelia came waltzing in, the daughter of a high end fashion designer, someone who was anything but invisible and she was the only one that saw me. She was my first real and best friend. Sure there were lots of times where she had to sneak down the side of her mansion to avoid her body guards just to go to the movies with me, not to mention the ridiculous amount of times we had to disguise her with random wigs and glasses, but she was the best thing that happened to me. And what girl would have dropped everything and a summer in Paris just to go to Taiwan with her kooky best friend who thought she could find her mother by becoming an actress? I don't know why I'm on here now telling the world, who really could care less about this, but perhaps it's because it helps erase the feeling of loneliness. ugh, she's just gone back to the U.S, well more like her mother had ten bodyguards drag her back for the week, yet I'm on here sulking and acting like something really bad happened. But that's not really why I even came on here to write. It was just a little too quiet in the house. But I'm slowly overcoming my stage fright, and President Han seems quite impressed. Half the time I swear I'm living in a modern fairy tale with President Han as my fairy god mother. I just hope that I debut soon so that I can truly see my mother. There is an Actress by the name of Li Hua that I think might be her. I wanted to ask President Han if he could help me meet up with her. Wish me Luck!
~Faye
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